my part in the 10 million

The day after the best birthday ever, Rich and I embarked on another Slovenian tour – this one touted as the ‘Alpine Fairytale Tour’. Micah, unfortunately, was not our guide. Our guide (whose name escapes me) was a young, single guy and spent the entire day talking about ‘the ladies’. Ladies he had taken on dates, ladies he wanted to take on dates, ladies he took to French restaurants who would not kiss him at the end of the night, joking with ladies about marrying them and then not doing any work around the house, ladies he took out in his dad’s Audi, which he pretended was his. What a catch.

I digress. We took in such sights as:

The Vintgar Gorge (amazingly beautiful clear blue river, crazy twisting boardwalk above it, good ice-cream at the end, lots of dogs)

The castle at Bled (which was a little bit boring, to be honest… but had an amazing view of the lake and the town)

A traditional Slovenian restaurant on the side of the road in a quaint little town (I ate a ridiculously inappropriate-for-the-30-degree-weather veal goulash with bread dumplings – delicious, but not the greatest choice on a boiling hot day)

And finally, the piece de resistance, Lake Bled.

Our luvverly friends Ryan and Mel, when asked last year where in the world we should go on our world tour adventure, immediately answered “Lake Bled – go to Lake Bled”.

It is indeed a beautiful place. Castles, churches, forests, geraniums (I am LOVING all the planter boxes in Slovenia!!), and the lake… It’s breathtaking.

The rest of our group went on a boat tour to the island, while Rich and I lay on the banks of the lake, reading our books, swimming a bit, soaking in the sights…. So luvverly….

When the group returned, Ol’ Batch (aka Bachelor, aka our tour guide) took us to a nearby cafe for a famous Bled Cream Cake. Along with the fairytale castles and lake, Bled is famous for having these crazy cream cakes (a bit like a vanilla slice, only creamier). EVERY cafe and hotel in Bled claims to make the best – I only sampled one, so I can’t attest to a winner, but I can say that the cakes we had were pretty flipping good.

I can’t remember the name of the cafe, but there was a sign above the bar, announcing that this establishment has sold over 10 million cream cakes since 1953. 10 million. In 60 years. That’s like… 170,000 a year. 14,000 a month. 450 CREAM CAKES A DAY!!! For one cafe. That’s a lot of cream cake. Yikes!

While Rich went to order coffee, and I enjoyed my cream cake, Ol’ Batch tried putting the moves on me, poking me in the belt (yes – a poke. In my belt area) saying “What is this? Crocodile skin?” to which I replied “Umm… no… just leather” to which he replied “Looks like crocodile. What you think of cream cake? What you boyfriend think of cream cake?” and then he rattled off some nonsensical weirdness about ‘women’ while I polished off my cake  and moved my chair a little further away.

Bled – Go for the lake. Stay for the cream cakes. Avoid sleazy tourist guides.

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